Family Therapy Services
By Navid Zamani, LMFT
Clinical Supervisor at License to Freedom’s Family Therapy Services
Working with families who are experiencing domestic violence can be difficult, as we don’t often get a sense of resolution or completion. Often, our relationships end by circumstance, whether that’s a client moving, the situation de-escalating “enough,” or a court mandate coming to a close. Sometimes I dream of being a broommaker, someone who sits throughout the day and weaves straws together to create a finished object for people to use. Therapy is far less concrete than that, and I don’t get to go home knowing that I finished making five brooms today.
The joy, however, comes from those occasional moments when we hear back from a client or family we worked with and learn that things have improved for them. I was lucky enough to have that opportunity recently.
I met this person shortly after she arrived in the U.S., having recently left a very violent relationship and carrying significant questions about the course of her life. In our work together, we explored the effects of that relationship on her life, the impact of her family history on her present day, and the ways she hoped to engender change, not just in her own life, but in the lives of her family and broader community. Both during and after the time we met, she got a job, learned how to drive and received her permit, navigated challenging roommate issues with grace and care, purchased her own car, and enrolled in college. She identified family members who were supportive and stayed in contact with them, while maintaining respectful relationships with those whose voices at times carried judgment.
Moments like these provide the necessary fuel and energy to continue the work with others who are at different places in their journey. They also are important moments to hold with humility, and resist the urge to claim their victories as our own. But, they can still be celebrated – both with joy and sometimes with baklava.
